growing up: Harlot Part 3

The final leg of the mini series triad!
Happy very belated birthday, potato head.

It has been a grand three years, and we hope to share tons more with you all.

growing up: Harlot Part 2

Welcome to installment number 2 of Giant Spud becoming a dog.

This set doesn’t really have a theme, mostly because I didn’t think this whole series thing out beforehand, but for shits and giggles let’s call this one Middle Girth.
This was around the time that I really started to like her. And I don’t mean the generic kind of fondness, I mean this is when I actually formed the bond with her. It took us a few month, but we got there.
Her ears were still large enough at this point for me to fold over her eyes and play peek-a-boo with: a game she did not understand, but patiently went along with.
She’s the sea bear of my heart and the dumpling of my eye.

growing up: Harlot

My fluffy beanbag is three years old now, but it seems like forever ago when I first picked her up and thought “this is the world’s largest puppy”.

Since I regrettably haven’t been shooting anything of her lately, I thought I’d do a three-part mini series of my Harlot favorites. This installment is rather short as I skipped photographing micro-Harlot for a solid month and half — bad human!

However, I did NOT miss the gangly stage. Check out those ears! It’s like she got a transplant from a fennec fox (look it up – trust me, it’s well worth your time). This, by the way, was my favorite growth phase she went through, because she just looked plain ridiculous. There are many things that I miss, such as her blonde ear hair curls, her old granny white patch on her hip, and the floppy tipped ear. But she never grew out of the clumsiness, and that’s what’s really important.

another photo dump

dog vision & a growing hippo

Spring Break came late for me this year, but being that I’ve only had to survive one month of campus life so far, I guess it’s not a bad trade off. One of the classes I’m taking is a very basic still photography course, where we’re restricted to shooting monochrome, JPEG, manual, and iPhoto edits. In most scenarios I love the simplicity of these settings and really trying to get everything in-camera; however, Lightroom has been feeling the abandonment quite strongly.

It would be natural to assume that Harlot would take the position as my portfolio muse, but it wasn’t until this week that I actually tested out the monochrome on her. I got some much needed practice with manually focusing action shots.

In other news, Harlot is getting fat. She is a chunk and she continues to sneak into the hairy Spuds’ cage and steal all of their leftovers. And when the cage doors are locked, she manages to squeeze a chubby little paw through the bars and flip the bowls over so that the food bits can be scraped out one by one into her giant, fat, stinking pie cave. It’s ridiculous, but no matter how many times I threaten to change her name to Whale, she claims the extra weight makes lying on my face while I try to sleep more fun.

officially in orange country

As anticipated, the Spud gang and I have gone from one humid, mosquito infested place to an even more humid and mosquito infested place, but it’s really not all that bad (I reserve the right to retract that statement come summer time).

The neighborhood has only a handful of those snotty miniature humans stumbling around, and so far I’ve been able to time it so that we don’t run into any on our walks. Harlot has been surprisingly well behaved (by Harlot standards); she’s only tried to murder two cars and terrorize one jogger.

The hardest things for her is being restricted to just my bedroom and the kitchen/foyer areas. With an almost fully carpeted house, she has to learn her boundaries. Things will get better once we enclose the rest of the backyard. Then she can run wild and free, because this stallion refuses to be confined for long! Case in point, this morning she flattened herself out in froggy fashion at the door, leaving me with only the option of carrying her over the thresholds. She can be such a turd. I chalk it all up to her being depressed about leaving her cats behind in North Carolina, but mostly I know she’s just being turdish because that’s her god-given talent.

It has been almost three days since we moved in, and yesterday we discovered the local PetsMart–holy huge, Batman! We left with some poop bags and a new Kong bed for the satanic princess. She’s been dragging it around my room and folding herself in it like a taco to get the poofiness out of it. One corner is already permanently stained with her stinking saliva; she has a fetish for zippers.

At the moment, I’m still sleeping on an air mattress, crossing my fingers at night that Harlot won’t surprise attack my face and deflate the whole thing. My more permanent IKEA bed is scheduled to arrive next week, and then me and the turd will be slumbering it up college roommate style with bunk beds! It’s going to be sweet!

harlot

aka Giant Spud

my sweet little idiot angel. she is queen of frustration creation and the biggest baby that has ever come in the form of a border collie.

even though she has a boatload of hatred for any human being that looks at her, breathes, or dares move in our general direction, i love her. mostly because she is an endearingly stupid creature, like a blind sea cow with fur.

she’s really not all that stupid. she just doesn’t use her masses of brain junk to function in a socially acceptable manner, because she likes to make everything as difficult as possible.

instead she focuses her noodle juice on tasks such herding and sitting on her babycats. or the more recent favorite, opening her mouth to the ground and bulldozing across the yard so that the snow collects in her poop consumer. it makes her pee every 15 minutes, which is just another part of her maniacal plan to drive me insane.

such a lovely little spud. additionally, every person to have survived meeting her claims that she is the reincarnated soul of myself. despite me not being dead. that’s probably the biggest reason why i still love her. that, and her supremely adorable fox ears.

she’s the cat’s pajamas.